Return With Honor

 The parking garage was full when we arrived and Dan had to drop us off and take a shuttle from the long term parking. We were surprised to find dozens of groups of families and friends all  waiting at the bottom of the escalators holding signs-all there united in one purpose...to welcome home their missionaries. The airport security actually set up ropes to make sure that a path stayed clear for other travelers.

 It was an amazingly good sight to behold! My heart swelled and I shed tears as we watched groups of missionaries turn the corner and descend down the escalators toward their families. Cheers rose each time someone spotted their missionary and excitement/anticipation filled the air. Some ran down the stairs, others took in the sight slowly descending-emotion spreading across their faces. Mothers-stepped out from behind the rope to embrace their "babies" that they have missed, worried about, supported, yearned for, prayed for- for two years. One mom even ran to her tall lanky son and jumped into his arms-both crying and rejoicing. 

This was a scene of such love, sacrifice, joy, celebration, and pride. It struck me at that moment how wonderful our church is and how wonderful each of you are to leave all that you know and love and go and serve-sometimes in places that are foreign in many different ways-and in situations that are uncomfortable and extremely hard. You wear your heart on your sleeve as some say-baring something that is so precious to you and a big part of who you are-for all to see and criticize, or judge you for, in hopes of finding the few who are searching. You change Lives! 

Our Church is one who sends missionaries out to find and save souls-and I am proud that I am a member and a supporter of such an organization. It is a sincere act of love for your fellow men. 

And finally when Mason was the one to descend the stairs, I watched as he embraced his mother and brother and sister-all the young cousins surrounding them in a hug-some not quite sure what was going on-but they were happy that a member of our family was joining us once again. He did it-and he served with all he had-I felt his spirit and goodness-his tiredness from all his hard work as I hugged him. Well done....you did it....is all I could utter. 

I am grateful for you and what you are doing-I know you are giving your all each day. You are making a difference. "With God on our side, we cannot fail."

A theme that I liked in the talks given in General Conference-stems off that statement...It stuck out to me that with God we can become something so much more and so much greater than what we could ever imagine. He can make our weaknesses strong. We are destined for greatness. We just need to live righteously and allow his spirit to lead us in the direction we need to go to grow and become. We shoudln't let fear (Satan tell us we can't, we aren't good enough, we are of no worth-that is the hard part). overshadow us.

Super Six

Today My Katie Girl Turns 6 years old. All I can say is....I LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL! She is so thoughtful, bright, spunky, and full of surprises. Two events in the past few weeks really show who Katie is.

Katie came up to me a week ago and said: "Mom I want to ride my bike" Dan had taken off the training wheels in the spring but we had not practiced much.

Me: "OK, we need to practice a lot-I can help you."
Later that day she spent a lot of time practicing outside by herself. She came in with a huge smile on her face and asked if I could come outside for a second. When I walked out, she was on her bike riding around giggling and laughing as I cheered her on. She taught herself in one day! When I asked her how she did it she said: "I just trusted in my heart that I could do it-and I did mom!" Now she asks Dan to take her on bike rides. After her first one with him, he asked if she liked it she said "It was better than I thought! I loved it!" She is determined and persistent and I am excited for her future.

Yesterday-While I was cleaning to get the house ready for her family party (we are making yummy caramel apples upon her request:) She quietly snuck into my room and made my bed-knowing that I was going to go do it soon. And on the bed-was a sweet note : "To mom and dad-I LOVE U. Zoo, Museum, From Katie." (she had recently told us she wants to go to the zoo and museum with us:) She has such a soft heart! and is always thinking of others.

We are so much a like in our love of creating-she draws and creates every day-and in most cases-what she creates is for someone else. She loves to give gifts!

She is a wonderful gymnast and is graceful and beautiful. She is the youngest in her class but holds her own and keeps up with the others. She got an award for most improved gymnast because her progress from the beginning to the end of class last year was so drastic. Her teacher said "She was so determined and worked so hard-she would come in and tell me I am going to do a Valdez today and would do it!"

Her prayers often take a while because she is all encompassing:) Even our dog (especially our dog) is included:)

She is beautiful with her unique red hair and face full of freckles...She is so filled with life and love and such spirit! Happy Birthday SWEET girl!

What I Know For Sure

"What I know for sure"
During her talk show, Opera would often ask her guests "what do you know for sure in your life?" This simple question struck me as being the anchor of knowledge that keeps an individual afloat during the inevitable storms of life.....and so I ask myself, "what do I know for sure?"

I know Brownies are divine
I know bubble baths are ultimate relaxation
I know the value of a good book
I know hugs are comforting
I know smiles are powerful
I know that I love fall-the smell, the sweaters, the colors, the hot chocolate
I know Fireflies are beautiful as they light up the night
I know accomplishing goals is fulfilling
I know my body is miraculous and can do way more than I ever imagined it could do
I know that we are more than just physical beings, we are spirits
I know the music I choose to listen to has an affect on my mood and thoughts
I know Satan is very real and that he tells us lies to slowly deceive and lure us into darkness
I know there is joy in choosing good and sorrow in choosing sin
I know Everyone needs to love and to be loved
I know that Love is an active word
I know that Kindness goes a long way
I know we are often the answers to each others' prayers, there is joy in service

I know that you can't lick your wound and expect it to heal

I know to not forgive is to rot inside
I know Life is about families
I know there is truth/reason in a marriage between a man and a woman-each has a specific and distinct purpose
I know I am meant to be a mom
I know that Children bring an indescribable happiness into my life like nothing else does

I know I love my children and that they were sent to me as a gift from my Heavenly Father to love me in this life

I know families can be forever-this life is not the end
I know God is unchanging and loves perfectly

I know that God blesses us with tender mercies numerous times a day to show us he loves us

I know there is no such things as coincidences

I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has the fullness of the Gospel on earth
I know that there is a living prophet and apostles that guide our church today
I know I will never be perfect but there is hope to overcome weaknesses and make them strong
I know that depression is a way Satan tries to get us to loath ourselves
I know I have a purpose
He knows my name....he knows me
I know God answers prayer-he is aware of me and hears my pleas

I know that life is hard but there is a way through

I know that my trials and how I handle them shape who I am

Most importantly:
I know there is a God
I know he has a son, my brother, who died for me to provide a way for me to repent and become better and live with him in Celestial Glory some day

I challenge you to make your list of the things "you know for sure"

Mom...mommy...mother

I asked for a picnic at the temple for mothers day with the people that I love most-and my wish was granted on a beautiful Sunny Sunday. When I stated how happy I was for the Sun after a week of lots of rain-Katie matter of factly said: "Of course mom-why wouldn't it be sunny-its "Sun" day!" :)

This picture encompasses all that matters most to me as a mother- my beautiful family, the essence of what life is all about, and the place where they were sealed to me forever! It also represents where I can find true happiness and peace in a world that is full of turmoil and deception.

I

I got most of their gifts early because they couldn't stand the thought of waiting to give it to me:) Tavin Drew a picture of me for mothers day-I think he did a great job:)

Katie made this cute flower for me at preschool-it is totally something she would love making. I love her creative flare. She hid it for me to find-and we played hot and cold- as she jumped up and down when I got closer to finding her surprise!There is so much about her that reminds me of myself.

The best part of their gifts was the joy that was in their eyes as I opened each one. They could have given me a handful of dirt and it would have been perfect because of the love that it stands for.

This  girly girl  didn't have a material gift for me-at least not something that I could hold in my hands. Her gift is her ability make my life lighter with laughter and humor. And there was plenty of it on mother's day:) 

President Monson: One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one.

Big Number 3

 Anxiously waiting for our yummy cupcakes to bake! She of course licked the beaters and tested the frosting for us! (We made buttercream frosting from scratch this time!)

                                                             The finished product

 The special surprise in the middle! (pearl sixlets) Dan and felt pretty proud of ourselves for getting them to turn out right. Team work!

                                                  Dad pushing livy girl on the swings!

                                                    Twin Cousins swinging close by:)

                                             Mommy getting a picture with the birthday girl!

                                          The princess with her crown and sparkly lipstick

                                                      Frozen Anna Doll from Grandpa


Three years ago today, I was given the priceless gift and privilege of being a mother to this vivacious, smart, kind, spunky, loving little girl and I can't tell you how grateful I am for the blessings she has brought into my life and our family. Even though she was born on a rainy april morning, she brings so much sunshine to this world. Because of her, I laugh/and smile at least 20 times a day. Oh how I love you my true princess.

We spent the afternoon making her cupcakes...they have a special "surprise" inside! And then, it was off to the park with our family to enjoy the sunshine and play. Her favorites are the swings, slide, and playing "daddy chase" with her cousins. 

She loves the songs and movie Frozen and got lots of frozen themed gifts: An Anna Doll from grandpa, and Frozen lip chap, body spray, undies (hopefully this will help with potty training), crown, and hair bows from Aunty Chrissy( who shares the same birthday!). Her present from us hasn't arrived yet-an Anna dress up outfit:) 

A Blessing for Our Son

Graham Lawrence Bauman
Blessed on February 1, 2015 
By his Father: Daniel Glenn Bauman
Daybreak 7th Ward
Graham is a little over 3 months old
Here to Celebrate with Us: Marlene, Larry, Deedra, Sam, Dawson, Chett, Kaylee, Trent, Mom, Dad, Karey, Chrissy, Krisha, Seth, Kimberly, Aidan, Ethan, Eli, Madi, Brendan, Tavin, Katie, Livy, Dan, and I.
Those who Stood in the Circle with Dan: Dad, Bishop Rechtenbaugh, Sam, Seth

Blessing (Daniel's Gift to Graham): 
I bless you with a strong healthy body
I bless you to be strong in the gospel
I bless you to serve a full time mission
I bless you to be a leader to those around you
I bless you to be married in the temple to a righteous woman
I bless you to have the peace that comes with living the gospel
I bless you to always know and do what is right

My (Kendra's) Gift to Graham-My Testimony:
It is such a wonderful feeling to have another one of our family members be reunited with us...I know the children especially feel it-their excitement-wanting to hold him and be near him. They have waited for him to come.

It seems like in our family our babies are born during times in our lives when we are in need of extra love-and I have felt Graham's love fill our home....I am so grateful for that.

I'm not going to lie, life with 4 kids is not easy-to most who ask me I like to just call our daily life an "adventure."

But I feel with all the hard things in life there is a lesson to be learned and if we embrace it, we will come out on top-a better person than we were-knowing something more than we did.

During all the nights that I am up feeding Graham-I have been able to finish The Book of Mormon for the second time in my life. The spirit that I felt alone late at night is irreplaceable.

I have also learned that I have to ask for help-I don't like to do it-but sometimes it is necessary to allow others to help me-give them the opportunity to serve me an receive those blessings for doing it. Listen to the Holy Ghost because often, when you listen to those promptings to go and do something, you are helping God show someone he or she is loved.

On my hardest days, when I needed to know Heavenly Father cares-someone sent a simple text just asking how I am doing with it all....remembering me showed me Heavenly Father's love.

Another person showing up at my door with a meal while Daniel was gone on a work trip-I might not have looked very inviting....my hair a mess and not dressed for the day-but I felt the love of my Heavenly Father through that individual-answering my prayers for help.

I have also learned about the Atonement and repentance-I am not perfect...none of us are-so in my struggle to get everything just right and do everything just perfect-I have failed. I have learned though that if I use the gift of the Atonement that has been given to me, I can start again each new day-it isn't just 3 strikes and your out-I can try to be a better person than I was the day before every day because Christ makes up for what I can't to myself...he makes up for my imperfect state.

I am grateful for a purpose in life-there are so many people on this earth without a purpose or a reason for existing-I am grateful to know who I am and why I am here and where I am going. I am grateful that I can teach my children these same principles.

I am grateful for my family and their support-I know as we grow and get bigger, it is harder to get things together and get to events like this-I am glad for their help and their effort. Some of them that are here don't believe in everything I do...and that is OK....but it is important to me-they are important to me-so I want them to know that I know this gospel is true. I know that it is the answer to their problems. 

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

The Newest Bauman: Graham Lawrence

The only way to describe this time around is waiting...and waiting...and waiting some more. It's unfamiliar to me really-all the waiting-3 weeks more waiting than any of the others. They came on their own-eager to meet the world and surprising us with a quick entrance-a little too quick for ones liking in most cases-Doctors running down the hall as to not miss doing what they were hired to do-nurses firmly insisting to put off pushing even when there was no stopping the inevitable. No time to think, to second guess, to make decisions-and then it was all over-and another member of our family was suddenly here. Me-a mother for the first, second, third time-just like that.

Not Graham though-he wanted to defy the norm-or maybe he was just too cozy on the inside-too aware of how cold the outside could be or how hard sometimes life is. No amount of walking would do the trick of coaxing him out. And I truly understood the meaning of discomfort. As the doctor put it "you are just running out of room" And so an induction date was set....was it the right thing to do-not letting him just come on his own? Would he be big enough-is that why he was still hanging on?  Would it be worse happening in slow motion instead of full speed? All the worry and anxiety mixed up with excitement, anticipation, dread.I knew what was coming, and what I had to do to get him here-so much pain and hard work. Yet, I was ready to have it done and him here safely.

Even with a set date there was still waiting...laying in bed as the darkness faded into light as 6 am, 8 am, 9 am, 10 am came and went- in and out of sleep-waiting for the hospital to call to tell us we could come-that they were ready-that I was aloud to have a baby at a designated time that day...a strange and foreign way of going about it. Finally the phone vibrates and Dan announces they scheduled us in for 10:30 am:
shower
dress
finish packing....
wet hair in a bun-
naked face-
comfy clothes ...
My pillow under my arm.
Kisses and goodbyes
children-big eyed and loving;
wishes of good luck.
A CTR ring to borrow ...
A declaration of faith....you can do it mom!

See you soon with our new brother....A new brother...one they prayed for... one they have waited for ....one I struggled for.... and one who belongs

I could do it...I did it before...and I would do it again... we were on our way.

We casually check in, and slowly walk to our room-the nurse takes time to write our names on the white board and shows us where we could put our things,where the TV remote is, and how to get to the snack room...people have time for these things here? so unusual...at least for me.

I change alone into my gown, oh the revealing gown-more time to be embarrassed and time to attempt to be modest....so odd-this business of having time...nothing like the rush of before-when Dan had to help me strip my clothes as to hurry on to the next step in the process...

And then I'm in bed and reality sets in-I text my sisters for support-only women can understand and offer what i need...encouragement, confidence, reassurance.  "I'm scared-please send positive thoughts, love, and prayers":
You've got this
Your amazing
We love u
It will all be OK
I am praying for you

Just in time for the I.V. please get it in my "curvy veins" the first time...and thank goodness she did. I already like her. And then...we watch soccer and lick cold Popsicle and wait. The Doctor makes a surprise appearance-whistling as he-pushes the curtain aside. With a devious grin, he rubs his hands together as he excitedly announces we are going to break my water to get things started...

I am not scared by his light hearted/sometimes crazy approach to things...I welcome it....his personality  might not be for everyone but it is OK with me. His energy makes me relax a little-things don't seem as serious or hard when an upbeat person is there to keep your spirits high. This is one reason I chose him....looks like a knitting needle-there is no pain-just A LOT of leaking for the next 45 minutes....there is something kind of uncomfortable to feel like you are peeing your pants for that long...

I lay on my side and try to sleep in between watching "pawn star" and more waiting...still no pain or sign of changes-a trip to the bathroom and then things begin to seem different. Nothing major but the nurse seems to become more serious about things and states that I have made significant progress within a small amount of time...I translate that into: the end is coming soon.

I am right-all too soon I am at an 8 and starting to feel the overwhelming waves of pain begin to hit. Daniel quietly moves to the side of my bed knowing silence is how I do things. Slowly-my arms, hands, neck and lips begin to tingle and turn numb as I work through contractions-nervousness sets in and I finally break the silence as I complain to Daniel about this foreign development. He doesn't waste any time pushing the call button..."we need the nurse-parts of my wife's body are going numb"

The nurse promptly arrives and pulls her stool up to the side of my bed...she positions a oxygen mask down over my mouth and tells me to take deep breaths. My body was shifting through the stages of labor at such a rapid pace that it was going into shock-I wasn't getting enough oxygen-thus the numbness. "You can do this" she said as she looks me straight in the eye-I can tell right away which of my patients will be able to handle labor without an epidural and which can't-you can. From this point on-she doesn't move from my side. She holds my hand as she softly directs Daniel as to what to do-there was never time for him to do much before...

"the most important thing is to remind her during each contraction to relax and not tense up. If you feel or see her tense up, tell her to slow her breathing and relax her body."

"Your body is running a marathon Kendra and you are almost to the finish line-the contractions are the hills-give in to them instead of fighting...don't anticipate them."

"Sink in-rest during the time that the contraction declines...."

My legs start to shake violently and Dan looks over at the nurse for answers
"It's just her body's way of telling her that she is pushing it to its limits-she is climbing a mountain. It is slowly shutting down....you can do it...hold on...I don't know how much longer I can hold on."

I concentrate on making it through each contraction...one at a time...I try to keep myself from hyperventilating, from panicking....I am taken in sheer surprise as the pain of each contraction escalates and becomes more excruciating than the last. The sweat drips and oozes from my pores. Without permission, tears run freely down my cheeks-I can't keep them in anymore. Despair sets in as things seem to be never ending...finally he drops and things move to a hole other level. I announce that the pressure is becoming unbearable and she nods as she tries not to run to the door to call the doctor. Within seconds he appears-"its time to have a baby" his smile radiates from ear to ear and even through all my pain-I can't help but try to weakly smile back. He will make everything ok...he will make the pain stop.

Just when I think that I am ready to cross my finish line-the challenge of pushing holds me back. I put all my effort into pushing when they tell me to and hear the grunts and guttural moans of agony escape my mouth. I push until both my lungs are collapsed and there is no air left in me-they tell me to rest and breathe...I just want it to be over and continue to push as long as I can before gasping for more air. Frustration arrives as we get to the fourth try and I still can't get him out. My body is tired and I need the waiting to be over.The task seems impossible-yet I know the pain won't end even if I quit. I grab the rails of the bed and shake my head as I cry.

"Just one more push, just one good push and we will have your baby" some how I muster enough trust that he is telling me the truth and enough energy to give it one more shot. His promise is valid and with one more burst of effort and a little help as he pushes against my stomach I scream and seering pain races up my legs- I feel the head then the shoulders and finally the body and legs as he slips out of my body.... my poor sore body. I lay there heaving in and out crying and sobbing as the emotion I have been holding in-controling-lets loose from somewhere deep within me. My heart is still pounding as I take deep breaths.
I hear the distant murmurs of the nurses and doctors around me-
Doctor Empey: WOW! He's a chubby one! Like a train wreck tearing through there...
The Nurse: You did it Kendra! You did great! Your a rock star-it's over and you have a beautiful baby
Other voices: 8 pounds 2 ounces....22 inches long
Daniel: You did it sweets-he is here and he's huge-he chuckles on his way down to kiss my head and squeeze my hand...through his touch, I feel his pride-in me and in our new son
We are parents once again...to a sweet boy named graham. All I want is for my children to be here with us- to welcome their new brother and to feel of the miracle and spirit of heaven.