Recently I was taught by my children-not by their words but by their kind and innocent actions in two specific incidences that I hope I will never forget. It isn't a new lesson or concept that I've never heard before, but for some reason, Every once and a while, I need to be reminded of it...."See them, know them, accept them for who they really are! not what you first perceive them to be."
Let me explain:
Experience #1: While on our trip to California this year, our family got to spend the day at Sea World together. The whales, the dolphins, the sea turtles, the otters, the seals, and the fantastic shows that included many other amazing and fascinating animals on display there were memorable BUT I think the most memorable part of my day was when we were standing in line to ride the round viewing elevator in the middle of the park.
I was chatting with Daniel-probably about the plans for the rest of the day, when I overheard my Katie girl say, "What is that on your forehead? I want one." Worried that she was offending some innocent bystander with her curious question, I quickly turned my attention to who she was speaking with. It was an Indian woman dressed up in her custom clothing and she had a small red dot on her forehead, which seemed to be the topic of Katie's inquiry. The woman, intrigued by Katie's question, and seemingly happy and pleased with my redheaded girl, replied "This is a mark we wear in our country. It helps us to feel beautiful. You may have one if you would like." Then she turned to Daniel and I to ask if it was OK...she explained that this mark was usually given to a girl at the age when she turns into a woman-a right of passage of sorts but that it was OK for Katie to wear if she would like.
We agreed and to Katie's delight the woman took a sticker-like dot off a sheet of paper from her purse and placed it on her forehead. Then, she got out her mirror so that Katie could admire her new mark. Katie was so excited. They took a picture together and Daniel and I smiled. We continued to frequently run into this woman and her husband as we wondered the park since it was a week day and less crowded. Each time the woman would embrace Katie and talk with her. They were friends. Thank you sweet Katie girl for reminding me that even though others might dress differently or look differently, they all want to be accepted, they all want to be beautiful in their own way and culture, and they all want to be seen for who they really are...they want to be friends.
Experience #2: As we played at the park this past week...a man and woman COVERED in tattoos (from their feet to the space right underneath their eyes-with pictures and numbers of all kinds) walked up with their 5 and 7 year old daughters and a 4 month old baby strapped to the woman's stomach...she was smoking. They were a rough looking sort. My sister and I automatically relocated ourselves and quickly judged them on how they appeared.
Later, I glanced around to make sure I knew where each of my kids were-guess where I found them, yep playing basketball with that family-talking and laughing-making friends. We slowly made our way over to make sure everything was OK. The man engaged us in a friendly conversation about our kids, his kids, and life in general. Tavin talked to him about RSL (our favorite soccer team) and the man and woman willingly listened.
They were VERY nice and he was a good dad from what I saw. He even helped my kids get down from high spots on the climbing gym. When it was time to go, they warmly said their goodbyes and we were on our way. As i contemplated this event while lying in bed that night, I realized that if I were to see them again, I would greet them willingly and happily-instead of turning my back on them. Who am I to judge another. Thank you Tavin, Katie and Livy for reminding me once again of one of the golden rules: Don't judge a book by its cover see the, know them, accept them for why they truly are and not by how they appear. My kids didn't see the tattoos or smell the smoke, they just saw friends.
